Delayed Reaction

This is a post I had written way back in April but never published. I thought it was a good description of my thoughts at that time. Here's a glimpse into Stacie's brain ---



Things are moving right along!

I can't believe that I'm done with student teaching. 10 weeks in the same classroom was a long time. Was it worth it? Most definitely. Was it easy? No way. Would I do it again? If I had to. Graduation is next week and I still have so many mixed feelings about it. My entire life has been school and softball. I've weened myself from softball for the past year (not easy). And now I'm going to be done with school. I have an interview on Monday for a substitute teaching job for the rest of the school year around Provo. I'm excited to still be in the classroom and around children teaching (and to finally earn some dang money).

Danny has been studying so hard the past few days and continues to do so. He's so smart and works so hard to be successful. I love that about him. He never settles for less and is always aiming so high! I love him and am so proud of all the success he's been able to find in his academics! He is such an example to me. Without getting mushy, he is always serving and putting the Lord first. He's constantly serving me to the point I don't think I'll ever catch up to him now and he never gives up. He's such a great goal setter and goal achiever. Something I have never exactly been. I'm so happy I married him, he's by best friend and don't know how I ever survived without him in my life!

Last night, while lying in bed I felt some pretty good kicks for Baby Toney. I feel like I've felt them before but am never fast enough to put my hand or Danny's on my stomach to feel it on the outside. Last night, Baby was just telling us, "Good night!" I grabbed Danny's hand and put in on my belly, he was able to feel a couple good kicks, too! It was incredible. It was the first time we have really felt a definite kick, the others may or may not have been flukes... it's debatable. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow-- I hope they do an ultrasound, but I doubt that will happen... cross your fingers. Monday I'll be 18 weeks! Almost half way there!

Lately, I've also been feeling a lot of anxiety and worry about bringing a child into this world. After watching the news coverage of the Boston bombings and then the Texas plant and the letters with toxins and the list goes on and on, I am so worried about raising a child in the world with so many signs of the times. I know that I will be able to and have faith that it will be fine. However, my humanly self continues to plant doubts in my mind. I pray that I will be able to raise a righteous family in this Gospel and return to live with our Heavenly Father and Savior one day.